Honestly-Not

beloved, embraced by all, and coveted by many they praise you, adore you, worship at your feet revered, esteemed, and highly valued but how great can a god be when they're not baptized in their own faith how worthy can one be when they have no worth in themselves?

our friendship wilting but who says it ever bloomed rotten from the start

On the beach we played In warmth of glowing sun. The smile you wore said to me The search is over- we are one! In the waves we swam and laughed Building castles in the sand. I'll never forget the words you spoke As you took me by the hand: The sand is ours to form and mold We'll build castles to the skies! Determined, I got right to work Ignoring truth laced in your eyes. As sun set, tide came in Giving ocean power. To crush the castles we had built In but the final hour. And our castles of the sky Returned back into the sea. Because castles made of sand Were never meant to be.

As I hold your hands, I can see A promise of eternity Hands bruised and aged seem to say You lived and served a perfect way Once young and tender, they had known People I still call my own But I never saw these people as had you Or all the things they had to do Hands left in frail and broken state I kiss them and appreciate The great things these hands have done The many battles they have won The people they held, the tears they’ve dried The meals prepared, and shoes they’ve tied. The tasks took on day by day Have led my life to be this way I can now see the fruit to come From such a strong and faithful one The children you raised, the lives you blessed The fulfilling of your mortal test Gave me future, gave me life Remind me that through every strife I must live life faithfully Because another’s future depends on me And I hope that when my time is come My hands have served as yours have done.

Dream wrapped in hope Eyes gleaming bright Clinging to something A feeling that's right I bare all this shame My head hanging low I smile when I see you But only for show I twist and I bend but when will I break It won't take much more Just another mistake

Beside me you lay and drift in to sleep I stroke your hair as you breathe in deep The room is silent and I watch you rest Watching the rise and fall of your chest When I see you now, it's a new face you wear A face I can't save once you leave this chair This is the peace I yearn to protect The face of a man I love and respect But the battles you face have become my own And they rage against this peace in our home I know the warrior's mask will be shed To reveal the face of pain that I dread The war will be lost and the face I caress, This body resting, this heart in this chest Will be no more after we lose So tonight I hold you, tonight I choose To take in the peace of this moment we share To remember the reason these burdens I bear

My reflection When I stare into The face I once knew In quiet introspection I'd once understood Once smiled upon it With hope But upon my inspection The space between my reality Of what I'd hoped to discover The traitor to my projection Of the woman That I should see

Gentle brush strokes The Artist's touch Paint on canvas A life for us Each blade and rock Both shadow and light Contrast and color Day and the night A picture unfinished Uninterpretable scene Only outlines, daubs of color, And shapes in between A masterpiece in the making Of joy and of strife Create what is ours Our painting of life

Let's play adult Let's make a scene Running and acting In one circus ring Jump through the hoops They'll say how high Walk on the tightrope Trapeze through the sky Play in the charade A wild managerie Pretend to be something You never could be Now paint your face And wave to the crowd Give them a show That will make them feel proud You make the magic Lie and deceive Perform all the tricks To make them believe The greatest show The best of the best Easy to conquer Each feat and test No one can know of The fear and the pain The showman's secrets That drive you insane Let's play adult A show filled with lies The heartbreak and sadness You live to disguise

I once was love But I became pain I once was love That turned into rain I once was love To shelter the weak Beautiful, lovely, Honest, and meek I once was love But I became death Violence and lies Squeezing each breath I once was love But now I'm ashamed I once was love Before I was maimed